Friday, February 12, 2010


Friday has arrived. That blessed moment when I'm finished with my last class of the day and the weekend is before me. Yet, I'm still stuck in the thickest parts of the week.

They're dead and gone, done, in the past, yet still lingering. In a bad way. How do you shake that stuff? And by stuff I mean how do you convince yourself that worrying doesn't accomplish anything and that what's in the past can't be changed.

Well, you may believe both of those things, but that doesn't make them any easier to put into practice. It's sort of like seeing the reasoning in your parents wanting you to wait til after dinner to eat your dessert but not really wanting to. Or something like that.

Moving forward from past hurts is never an easy thing to do. It hurt. If something was powerful enough to hurt you, it makes sense that it's hard to shake. It could be something as deep as emotional scarring that will be with you for the rest of your life or something as simple as a bad test score. But the point being, they effect you in a negative way. And for some reason the negative is always easier to remember.

So here I am: Friday. I want to enjoy the weekend. I want to shake the burdens what weighed me down throughout the week and look forward. Again, easier said than done, right? For some situations, it's a time thing. Pain needs to heal. For a scrape, a band-aid and kiss from Mom should do the trick by this time tomorrow. For a bad test grade, just convince yourself you'll do better next time or plead with the professor. For other situations, it's a life-long process that's never fully realized until new life begins.

Either way, I'm right here right now, and somehow I have to reconcile that. The more joy I can find the better the ride's going to be. And easier. I don't want to get into a mindset of simply enduring this life til I get to the next, or making it all about what's going to make me happy, either. Though, you may be surprised by what does truly make you happy. More often than not it involves other people:).

God put me here for a reason. If I view my existence as something to survive til I get to move on it seems like I'm missing something.

So, today is Friday. Today my joy is going to be going out with wonderful roommates and celebrating the fact that we were born (literally, it's a combined birthday outing). That, at least for tonight, will overshadow the burdens from the week and remind me of a few of the countless reasons I have to be happy:)

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